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12/22/08 06:53 am
Meh
Just not feelin' it. The last couple of days have had lots of good points - I got to hang out at the Hamptons with people I see far too rarely, I had some quite pleasant make-out sessions with  tlsthatsme, and a very nice little show with princesskiti22 this last night.
On the other hand, for a large part of the Hamptons party, I felt like I had a sign that said "leper" on me. It really seemed like quite a few people would happily say hello - and then wander off. In the case of at least one person, it was definitely more "actively avoid" than "wander off."
Of the Collective, the only people that seemed to have any interest in talking to me were supersniffles and foxypinkninja. Otherwise, I got some nice conversations in with a few of Devon's friends, who apparently hadn't gotten the memo.
It seems I've angered the party gods, or something.
Then the very odd offhand accusation of being a "wolf," which I should probably take as a compliment, since it honestly seems the individual in question would likely have spent more (and rather more intimate) time with me if I actually were one.
It was just weird.
But again, goodness has definitely been experienced. And Cindi's Yorkshire gingerbread is amazing.
The show was quite nice. Not precisely hugely profitable, but then, it seems that a good part of the Collective may still be nursing a hangover.
And that's about all I feel like saying, though it's likely both too much and too little.
2008-12-22 04:06 pm (UTC)
I for one seem to wander and not really engage in intense one on one or even group conversations these days. Not necessarily what I would like, but it seems that its what I do.
2008-12-22 04:11 pm (UTC)
Yeah, well, logically, most of the experience was in my head. I do very much like one-on-one or group conversations, though not necessarily intense ones.
And, to be clear, I didn't get that vibe off of you. Mostly just from the cool kids.
Or at least the ones that think they're the cool kids. The Collective is over-stratifying. I'm gonna have to consider if there's anything I can do about that...
2008-12-22 05:25 pm (UTC)
The "cool kids"? It does sound like you need to work on that.
2008-12-23 12:28 am (UTC)
Yeah. Damned primates and their social hierarchies...
I just haven't had as much attention to spare for maintenance in the last few months - and I'm likely to have less in the future. 'Tis a worry.
2008-12-22 05:15 pm (UTC)
I don't quite recall large portions of the evening, and I know I napped for a bits of it, since I was pretty drunk by 8 p.m. I certainly didn't mean to ignore you, if I did.
2008-12-23 12:30 am (UTC)
By the time I got there, you were pretty much drunk to the point that your main function was decorative.
Which you performed to perfection, as usual.
Yeah, I felt a bit ignored, a couple of times, but I also realized you, um, didn't have that much attention left to spare...
2008-12-23 03:50 am (UTC)
2008-12-23 04:10 am (UTC)
Indeed, dear.
You really do waste a lot of time worrying about not looking attractive. Yes, you're not 19 any more.
But you're still smokin'. And you're going to be for many many years to come.
2008-12-22 05:57 pm (UTC)
i'm sorry if i've been distant. i'm doin' my damnedest to make a new set of holiday memories that don't include the ex.
2008-12-23 12:26 am (UTC)
Honey, I was just talking about people at the party. More accurately, I was talking about the feelings in my head about the people at the party...
I'd prefer to spend more time with you than has been happening, but, y'know, things are as they are.
Honestly, though, the main issue I've had with you - or, I guess, your situation - in the last couple of months is that the long silences make me worry.
2008-12-22 08:46 pm (UTC)
Sorry If it seemed like I said hello and wandered off. My party mood was destroyed before I even got there and I just sunk deeper into my funk as time went on.
2008-12-23 12:36 am (UTC)
And this is where I should have spent more time at least attempting to break through the funk for a bit.
At least we did talk some. And your pecan pie was awesome. Not that that's relevant, but it is true...
2008-12-24 12:19 am (UTC)
The pecan pie comment may not be relevant but it makes me feel good.
2008-12-24 12:41 am (UTC)
2008-12-23 12:34 am (UTC)
I suspect the problem may have been that a lot of people have been feeling out of sorts - including myself.
In this case, probably especially myself.
I'm sorry to hear work is being so hard on you. I forget - how is the education situation with you? Since it's obviously gotten time to move on.
Edited at 2008-12-23 12:37 am (UTC)
2008-12-23 02:29 am (UTC)
Oh yeah.
Forgot about that...
2008-12-25 07:40 am (UTC)
that 'make out' girl ;-)
Well I was going to say sorry for stealing so much of your attention, that others may not have approached due to the kissing....but I am not sorry. In fact, I would have stolen more if I could. Though I do agree with you, many of the attendees seemed to be in their own head space. The upcoming holidays and work that go with them, can do that. I have a cold, but I hope to be well enough to see you tomorrow, we shall see.
2008-12-25 11:02 am (UTC)
Re: that 'make out' girl ;-)
There would be no need at all to apologize anyway, m'dear. If you notice, that was listed as one of the pluses of the evening.
And I'm not sure "stolen' would be the correct term...
I hope you feel better tomorrow - I'd love to see ya! But whether I do or not, take care of yourself!
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weird