I suppose I should consider myself lucky. It's taken this long.
I had dinner with them today. Nothing special, just hanging out and talking about things, fending off "get a job" comments - the usual.
Well, and one of my mother's meals.
Suddenly I had them going on about timenchanter twisting a subject to homosexuality while talking to Indrajit at a previous party. I had a hard time trying to adjust to that image - Timmie is a bit of an activist, and doesn't hesitate to talk about being gay, but I find it hard to think of him off the bat throwing it in someone's face just for the hell of it. But OK, whatever.
Then they started talking about Indrajit being a conservative Indian, and being uncomfortable around that sort of thing. I was thinking OK, your friend's a barbarian, and this should affect me how?
Well, apparently they've got people visiting from India in a couple of months, and they're worried about reactions (Apparently India imprisons people for homosexuality. There's a vacation spot I won't be taking my friends to). So, if I bring Timmie, could he be quiet on the subject, and could I do the same? Or if he can't be quiet, could I not bring him and avoid the subject?
I really didn't know how to react. It's just hard for me to call my parents a couple of assholes. I more-or-less managed to pass off the situation noncommitally without compromising my personal integrity too much. They weren't exceedingly pleased with my reaction, so I guess I did somewhat OK.
It takes me a while to digest these things, and I finally realized that this was classic liberal discrimination, of the "Some of my best friends are black, but I wouldn't let one marry my sister" variety. I'm frequently slow - though I do tend to realize the scent of BS when it's waved in my face.
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do at this point. I'm also not sure what they'd really expect from me on my own, anyway. I don't go out of my way to advertise my gay connections, but I don't hide them, either. I mean, my best friend's gay, most of my other friends and acquaintances are gay or lesbian, I work in a gay bar, I'll be on stage at S.J. Pride - what kind of small talk do they expect from me?
My two main options appear to be boycotting meeting these people, or wearing my Faux Gay shirt to the party. Given my tendency toward non-confrontation, I'll probably opt for the former, which is too bad.