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Moon Phase

April 2019
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Bruce [userpic]
Ummm... Yuck?

I realize that the off-the-wall phrasing in spam is there to get around the filters, but:

Hit her entrails with your penis.
Make your dick as huge as brick with Penis Enlarge Patch.

Are penis-wielding serial killers their actual market?

Current Location: The Duplex
Mood: amusedamused

Let's not be bitter. At least not too bitter...

There are, in fact, women who are size queens. As far as I've been able to tell, they're the definite minority.

It's been pretty obvious that the whole size thing is all male oneupmanship.

Hell - some of the ads say things like "she complains that sex hurts now" or "she gags during oral." This is supposed to be a good thing?

What I remember from Asia Carrera's blog was something on the order of "you can reach my g-spot with your fingers, so it doesn't need to be much longer than that." She also had a maximum length she would work with - I can't remember if it was 7 or 8 inches.

In the meantime, if I really, really suddenly feel the need for a bigger dick, I'll do the one thing that works - which I should be doing anyway - and lose some weight.

Spam can have some delightfully gruesome stuff huh? I can't imagine spearing ANYONE'S entrails being a pleasurable experience.....

I also think spammers aren't even trying 1/2 the time. My personal favorite, I never opened, but the subject just made me giggle for like 5 min:

"what you ask you're gynecologist during your next OBGYN!"

I'll.....make...sure to? Huh? I think maybe they're targeting the wrong market.

Now that I think about it, I could see some humorous Halloween themed enlargement ads.

"This Halloween, spear her like Vlad the Impaler, only with mego-corp enlargement cream!"

Hot damn! Someone give me a corner office and a raise!

A lot of their stuff is semi-randomly generated, which makes for some great effects.

Last night I got a "My manhood has never been so big!" from an Emily something-or-other. You have to admit, that would be impressive!

Reminds me of this English comedian I saw on TV. Like 1/2 her show was about how women need a "mental penis." It was great. She was just like "LADIES, you all need a big, HUGE, CONFIDENT mental penis for all to see! Wag it around, scare the boys!"

Yeah, good shit.

Technically, anal sex is "spearing someone's entrails," since entrails usually refers to the intestines and associated viscera, which is to say the bowels.

Oh, well then I stand corrected. Somehow I think I knew that, but I didn't fully click it within my head. Sometimes I'm just slow....

Resident reputed size queens won't comment.

However, I have to say and you may or may not find this amusing, but I saw a tranny porn once where the chick had a bigger dick than the guy.

I don't think anything would hurt a guy's ego more than that.

I just wish I'd stop getting spam about enlarging my penis and for Viagra. neither would work for me becuase due to my gender I lack the certain body part that those products are supposed affect.

Actually, I've been told that viagra does have some interesting effects.

After all, the clitoris and the fairly large mass that continues back along the vagina is effectively the same as the erectile tissue of the penis. So it tends to engorge and sensitize...

Not that I'm recommending it or anything, but that's what I've heard. From definitely non-medical sources.

Umm yeah can't really respond to this info without getting too graphic and ging you WTMI. The subject matter my response would contain is something only share with those who share my bed or who share thier bed with me.

My filters are very good, so I rarely see anything except when I go dumpster diving just to be sure of that, but I find that the ones in German are pretty funny. I don't get any in French. I don't know about the oriental languages.