And hate is the wrong term. Fear isn't even right. The closest I can get to describing it is paralyzingly anxious.
It is possible I could help in several lives, including my own, if I make a couple of cold calls. Actually, not even cold calls - just unexpected calls to people I don't normally call.
If I made the calls, I might find myself involved in something very slightly larger and more complicated, or I might be told "no", which is fine as well - there shouldn't be any hard feelings, and I could just get on with life.
Instead, I'm sitting around griping about how anxious I am.