Some background: From about the time Trudi left me for Tony to a few weeks before we started dating again, Mena and I have been occasional fuck buddies. A week or so ago, Mena decided she should clear the air with Trudi (Who's been a friend of hers for ages), and told her about this.
There was a certain amount of misunderstanding (Trudi initially though Mena meant that afternoon), but everything got cleared up.
Except motivation. Mena was trying to not be dishonest. Trudi thinks she was staking a claim.
Fast-forward to today, where I'd agreed to give Mena a ride up to East Palo Alto to see her son. Trudi rode along, "to go home", but it seems now more likely to mount guard. She got extremely upset when she learned she was being dropped off first.
And that got her going. A whole lecture about how she wasn't running around with ex-boyfriends, and how I shouldn't have an ex-girlfriend in the house, remember how jealous I got with Tony, etc, etc, etc.
She seems to have forgotten that I got upset about Tony after 2 weeks of his living in her room followed by a month of her living at his mom's house. And even then, it was more because she snubbed efforts to do things with her.
She seems to forget that when I got upset about Stevey, it was because she'd blow off things she'd arranged with me to hang out with him.
I'm sorry, but giving Mena a ride every two months is not the same thing.
I don't expect Trudi to have nothing to do with her exes. That's her decision. If I could trust that Larri wouldn't go completely batshit on me, it would be nice to keep in contact - we have a lot in common, and she has interesting insights.
I'm going to have to be pretty firm about all this, because I know how Trudi's progression goes: First all "romantic" connections are cut, then all that might be, then all non-mutual friends.
And I'm not giving up my friends for anyone.