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Bruce
kor27
...:::.::. .::...:..
Moon Phase



February 2018
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Bruce [userpic]
Confidence Men

An observation, which has been percolating through my brain - and somewhat exacerbated by my present feeling of bitterness (maybe I'm PMSing, I dunno...).

As I spend my time observing that alien ritual which is standard human mating behavior, one of the major attractants for many women appears to be "confidence."

I'm beginning to suspect this is wired in - and I think is the sad result of the conflation of "competence" and "confidence." At least if one glances at the situation from a sociobiological viewpoint, a competent mate is to be desired - and the shallow might imagine that confidence is a good indicator.

And, up to a fairly low level, it is. The individual that cowers from every little aspect of their life is not likely to do better under stress.

But no individual can actually handle everything life might throw at them. Those that act like they can come in two flavors: Those too stupid to realize what might come their way, and those that are simply fronting.

So, if, male or female, extreme competence is a turn-on? You might want to make a conscious decision as to which of the two you'd generally prefer: Honest-but-dumb, or Smart-but-dishonest. Not that those are the only two possibilities, but they're the best you're gonna get.

Current Location: The Duplex
Mood: irritatedirritated
Comments

*thinks back on the number of times we've discussed the line between self-confidence and arrogance*

(...speaking of which, I have tentative plans for dinner with the Perpetual Motion Machine tonight before the bar....)

So, are you saying I should be ready for dinner, just in case?

I think one stunt-date a week for me is plenty, but thanks for the offer. (Why, yes, firestrike did come with me to the division party on Friday, why do you ask?)

I'll have your wintergift with me when I get there tonight.

Jess' tryin' to be helpful, ma'am.

And I see you're joining the ranks of those that make me feel terribly guilty about my lack of gifting...

Please, don't. I saw this, knew it was destined to be yours, and got it. There is no need for you to concern yourself with parity, I promise. (Besides, any time you think you need to give me a present, all you have to do is wear that shirt.... *rawr*)

Awwww

Now you're gonna make me blush...

Anyway, much luck with the Powerhouse, and I'll look forward to seeing you this evening!

I don't know about competence - I've never really thought about it from a biological perspective - but yes, confidence is definitely a turn-on. But I'm not sure how general that is, or if it's just me. There's a certain amount of confidence needed to manage my lifestyle. It was a big deal when Jorge and I started dating - he wasn't necessarily confident in the relationship, and it caused some friction. It ended up working out, because he is a confident person in general.

But speaking strictly from a hind-brain, what turns me on perspective, yes, I'm into confidence.

As I said, I suspect it's wired in.

And may, as a major sexual selector, do a lot towards keeping human intelligence below a certain level...

Ponder, ponder, ponder.

Right off the bat, I want to say I prefer competence over confidence, because hell, you might be able to get me to talk to you with confidence, but if I ever find out its fake. Boom, it's done. While competence may not get me to talk to you, once I listen, if I choose to listen, and find out that you know you're shit, at the very least, you've got my respect. For me, it's really about how one carries him/herself. And you can have confidence or competence and still not carry yourself well. I'm not sure though, if you lack confidence and competence, if you can carry yourself well.

I do realize that one of my disadvantages is that the way I carry myself is mostly driven by the need to not fall over...

I'm trying to get how a walk would be self-mocking. Perhaps he was just used to a "fat" walk, and never figured out a different way?

But not knowing things like the rough facts of the JFK assassination is kinda scary. Not just because it's basic history, but because, let's face it, phrases like "book depository" and "grassy knoll" are, well, memetic. They crop up in the oddest places - and you're really not understanding your environment if you don't get them...

Hell, the funniest Red Dwarf episode ever centered around the JFK assassination - but then, I get the impression that British education is just a smidge better than ours.

Hmm, interesting. I have noticed that I get better attention with my (relatively new) "I may not be to your taste, but I know I'm hot" attitude than I did before I developed it.
Of course, it's that same attitude that makes random Mexican boys sure I'll go home with them...